Rachel's Story

      Rachel's story isn't as dramatic as Matthew's is, but comes with it's own lessons, ones I should have already known, or least been able to accept.

      You know, it's just about when you think you know how it goes that you're thrown for a loop.   When everything you thought you knew proves to be totally useless and you have to start learning and adjusting all over again.   That's how it was...no, is...with Rachel.

      Rachel is Matthew's twin sister, born 9 minutes after Matthew. It's the same story as Matt's, she was born healthy and beautiful, unlike Matt, Rachel doesn't have PDD or ADHD, she has ADD. Now, was this something new for us? NO. Was this a surprise to us? NO. Were we able to avoid denial this time? NO. I don't really know why. Considering all we had been through with Matt you would THINK that accepting our daughter's ADD would be easy! Well it wasn't! But I'm getting ahead of myself....let me go back to when she was...let's say..4...

      Most everything had progressed just fine where Rachel was concerned. She was a great help with Matt. Playing the "mommy" bit and always keeping an eye on him and "guiding" him out of the way of harm and generally just enjoying being able to "boss" him around!   

     As I look back now, I think that was wrong of me to put her in that position, but at the time it was the only way I could see to handle it.   But let me say that without Rachel's help I don't think we could have managed!   She was truly a wonderful child!

      The only visible problem was that Rachel was very much speech delayed. This had us worried, especially with all that we were going through with Matt. (this was at the same time that Matt was being tested at Blue Bird) So when the social worker from Blue Bird called the diagnostician from the school to have Matt enrolled in Early Childhood Classes she also made arrangements for Rachel. They were hoping that being in a controlled classroom with other students she would be enticed to talk. Thank heavens it worked! In no time she was talking and wouldn't stop! She still has to have speech because she tends to talk in monotone, but she has made incredible progress.

      I didn't really catch on to Rachel's ADD until her first grade year, very possibly because of what all we were going through with Matthew at the time. But I knew something was wrong when she kept bringing home F's on her class work. Now this is a smart girl! The F's made no since at all!! 

     Along with the F's, she was bringing home notes from the teacher saying she wasn't paying attention, wasn't finishing her work, was easily distracted and couldn't stay on task. The teacher was having to redirect her every few minutes.

     So I tried to convince myself it was anything but what I knew it really was. I made up so many excuses that it was just unreal! I just couldn't have another child on medication! I couldn't do that nightmare again! The different medications, the constantly watching for different side effects, the trips to the psychiatrist, the calls to the doctor and the dosage adjustments...NOT AGAIN!

      I wish I could tell you that I finally just snapped out of this denial and wised up, but I didn't. It wasn't until one day while working with her on her homework that I realized something...I WAS DOING HARM TO MY DAUGHTER! She was having more and more trouble learning and it was my fault!!! In her present condition she wasn't able to retain anything she learned.

      So it was the guilt that finally sent me running to the pediatrician once again. Which is fine, she got there, she got help and that's the part that matters. So....I walk in there, Rachel in tow, and told the doctor....Rachel has Attention Deficit Disorder. There was about 5 seconds of silence and then he started laughing and said to me, "Did you just now realize this?" My response was a simple but direct, "No, I've been in denial for a long time, why?" 

     Come to find out, he had suspected she was ADD, but with all that was going on with Matt, decided he might better let me discover the situation with Rachel on my own. Which I think was very smart on his part, if the parent isn't ready to accept the disorder then it's not likely they are going to do what has to be done.   I mean, in my case, it's not like I didn't already know the score!

      Luckily for us, since Rachel was ADD alone (without PDD), he was able to put her on medication without sending her to a psychiatrist. He decided on Adderall since Matt had had so much luck with it. 

     So it was about the middle of first grade that she began her medication.   It was such a relief when her grades went back up and the notes from the teacher stopped coming in!   

    So why did I allow her to begin second grade without her adderall?!   Lord only knows!   I guess we all harbor the hope that ours is the child that you hear about, the one who "outgrew" their add symptoms.   Guess I was just hoping a little too hard.   At least it only took me one week to realize she really needed the adderall and to get her back on it!   

     Well, it seems God has been smiling down on us, because the Adderall has worked and there's been no problems with the medication other than the normal adjusting of the dosage from time to time.  I usually run into trouble at that point because with Rachel the signs that her medication needs adjusting are so much more subtle than with Matthew.   There's no out of control situations to watch for, only the tiniest signs of her not being able to concentrate.   It's usually not until I tell her to do something and see her start to go to do it, then get this blank look on her face then have to come back and ask me again what I told her to do, that I realize it's time to call the doctor about an adjustment.

      About the only real problem we have had is when the teacher, who usually either doesn't accept ADD/ADHD as a problem or is unfamiliar with the disorder, doesn't believe she needs to be on medication. I don't know, maybe it's because she's not bouncing off the walls, she's not running around the room screaming.

     She's a good child, and extremely creative...she's my "little artist".   I have yet to find any useless piece of junk that this child can't make something wonderful out of!   She loves to write stories and draw.   It just so happens that she just can't think without her medicine. Without her meds her A's and B's quickly turn to F's. Maybe that's what it is, people are so used to hearing about the more obvious cases of ADHD that they don't realize that Attention Deficit Disorders can manifest itself in a different way.

     It's a fact of life, everyone doesn't believe in the same things, not everyone has experience with this sort of thing. It happens. What can we do? Conference with the teacher first and CALMLY explain things. Find out, does he/she not believe ADD/ADHD is a real disorder? Or is it simply that they don't know what they are dealing with, how to deal with it or what to look for?  This has been the case I've found most often, and this you can help with. You become the teacher to the teacher. Everyone walks away happier and smarter.

      That's basically Rachel's story. As I said before, it's not as dramatic as Matt's and we've been lucky enough to bypass things that a lot of people have been through with an add child by this point, but Rachel and her condition has had it's own lessons.....lessons for me mostly. I guess parents never stop learning either huh?