As I Watch You Sleep
My precious child, I have slipped into your room to sit with you as you sleep.
Your eyes are peacefully closed now, and your soft blonde curls surround your beautiful face.
Just moments ago, a mounting sadness came over me while I contemplated the day’s events.
This morning, I was impatient with you as you dressed too slowly,
telling you to stop being such a slow poke.
I scolded you for misplacing your lunch money and I capped off breakfast
with a disapproving look as you spit food on your shirt.
"Again?" I sighed and shook my head. You just smiled sheepishly at me and said, "Bye, Mommy!"
In the afternoon, I tried to make phone calls while you played in your room,
singing your favorite songs loud enough for me to hear you.
You wanted me to be proud, but instead, I motioned irritably for you to be quiet and stop all the racket, and then proceeded to spend another busy hour on the phone.
"Get your homework done right now" I later rattled off
like a sergeant "And stop wasting so much time."
"Okay Mom," you said remorsefully, sitting up straight at your desk
with pencil in hand.
After that, it was quiet in your room.
In the evening, as I worked at my desk, you approached me hesitantly.
"Will we read a story tonight Mom?" you asked with a glimmer of hope.
"Not tonight," I said abruptly, "your room is still a mess!
How many times will I have to remind you?"
You wandered off in a shuffle with your head down and headed for your room.
Before long, you were back, peering around the edge of the door.
"Now what do you want?" I asked in an agitated tone of voice.
You didn’t say a word, you just came bounding in the room, threw your arms around my neck
and kissed me on the cheek and said "Good night Mommy, I love you,"
And then, as swiftly as you had appeared, you were gone.
After that, I sat quietly, holding the phone, feeling a wave of remorse come over me.
At what point did I lose the rhythm of the day, I wondered, and at what cost?
You hadn’t done anything to invoke my mood. You were just being a child,
busy about the task of growing and learning.
I got lost today, in an adult world of responsibilities and demands,
and had little energy left to give to you.
You became my teacher today, with your unrestrained urge to rush in and kiss me goodnight,
even after an arduous day of tiptoeing around my moods.
And now, as I see you lying fast asleep, I yearn for the day to start all over again.
Tomorrow, I will treat myself with as much understanding as you have shown me today,
so that I can be a real Mom~~offering a warm smile when you awaken,
a word of encouragement after school, an animated story before bed.
I will laugh when you laugh, and cry when you cry.
I will remind myself that you are a child,
not a grown up, and I will enjoy being your Mom.
Thank you my child, for being my teacher and my friend,
and thank you for your gift of love.
Author Unknown
midi is "Within My Heart" from Skip's Eagle Nest
Free JavaScripts provided
by
The JavaScript Source
