Conferencing Successfully With Your Child's Teachers

1.   Tell your child in a calm, supportive way that you have scheduled a meeting with his teacher and why.   Explain that you will share the results with him.   Don't announce the conference in a negative, threatening way.   Don't say, "I'm going to really find out what's going on at that school!   You'll probably be grounded for months!"
   
   
2.   Be considerate.   Book the conference several days in advance.   To take the teacher by surprise is unfair.   The teacher who planned to grade papers or type a test that hour might have to rush through the conference.   In addition, when given short notice, the teacher does not have time to organize her thoughts and/or to gather helpful information for the meeting.
   
   
3.   Be as flexible as possible when making the appointment.   You may not be able to schedule your appointment at exactly the time of day that is most convenient for you.
   
   
4.   Don't apologize for wanting an appointment or for "taking up" the teacher's time.   A teacher's job is to work with students and parents.   Do thank the teacher for arranging to see you.
   
   
5.   Indicate why you are scheduling the conference.   Doing so helps the teacher be prepared.   Are you concerned about academic grades and/or the classroom behavior of your child?   Are you planning to discuss your child's learning disability, or do you simply want an overview of the class objectives, etc.?   In addition, make any special requests of the teacher when you make the appointment.   Don't expect the teacher to average a long string of grades while you wait!   Preplanning will save time and result in a more organized, productive meeting.
   
   
6.   If you anticipate a difficult and/or emotional conference, request that the school counselor or principle attend.   In addition, bring a friend with you who can listen more objectively than you.
   
   
7.   Arrive on time.   Allow enough time to be lost if you are unfamiliar with the school.
   
   
8.   Be organized.   Come to the meeting with a written list of questions and/or concerns.   Rank the most important question/concern first, etc.   If you run out of time, you will have covered the most important topics.
   
   
9.   Stick to the point!   Don't ramble or spend your time on trivial issues.   It is not necessary to give the teacher a "blow by blow" account of everything that has happened to Susie or Johnny since the first grade!
   
   
10.   Share information that is pertinent to your child.   Don't relate details that are irrelevant or that are best kept private.   Example: If you think your child's academic performance and/or behavior has been negatively affected by your recent divorce, say so!   That is valuable information for the teacher.   It is not important to share all the details of the divorce.
    
    
11.   Listen carefully to the teacher's responses to your questions and to any suggestions that are made.   Write them down.   Don't trust yourself to remember everything.   You may not agree, but allow the teacher the opportunity to fully express a personal viewpoint.   Don't interrupt unless you don't understand what is being said.
    
    
12.   If you are critical of the teacher's method(s) or treatment of your child, say so in a non-threatening way.   Example: "I would like you to consider how Mary feels when you tease her about her poor memory in front of the class.   I know that you don't mean to hurt her feelings!"   Putting the teacher on the defensive is not constructive.   If either of you become angry or overly emotional, reschedule the conference.
    
    
13.   Try not to "go over the teacher's head" to resolve a problem.   If it can't be worked out to your satisfaction, tell the teacher in a polite way that you are planning to talk with the principle about the matter.   Consider asking the teacher to sit in on the conference.
    
    
14.   Thank the teacher for meeting with you.   If you would like the teacher to follow the conference with a phone call, note, or additional conference, ask the teacher to please make a note of your request.
    
    

1.   Don't panic!   Ask the teacher if there is a particular topic to discuss.
   
   
2.   Unless you can't meet the teacher in person, avoid phone conferences that involve a serious problem with your child.   Eye to eye contact is important!
   
   
3.   Arrive on time.
   
   
4.   Allow the teacher to direct the conference.   Listen carefully.   After the teacher has stated the concerns, mention yours and/or ask questions.
   
   
5.   Schedule another conference if you need more time.
   
   
6.   Thank the teacher for the personal interest in your child.