Setting Reasonable Grade Goals

     Most parents would like their children to be straight A students.  This is not always a reasonable goal.  Base grade goals on what is possible for your child to accomplish, not what you want the child to accomplish!  Don't push a child beyond his limits.  Doing so is unwise and can be dangerous.  Some students turn to drugs and suicide when they can't meet their parents' expectations.  They feel they won't be loved if they're not good students!

1.  The age of the child is not the most important factor in setting grade goals.  Set goals according to the child's strengths and weaknesses rather than the child's chronological age.
   
   
2.  Carefully consider the maturity level of the child, his interests, I.Q., and life experiences when setting grade goals.
   
   
3.  Consider each child as an individual.  Don't measure a child against you academic record or that of a brother or sister.  Because you made A's in math doesn't mean that your child has the ability to do the same!  On the other hand, don't "program" him to fail at something that was difficult for you.
   
   
4.  A student's success in school is not primarily determined by I.Q.  A child with a high I.Q. and low motivation and/or self-esteem will most likely experience academic problems in school.  Did you know that Albert Einstein, one of the most intelligent men of the century, failed math?  Studies indicate that hard work, desire, and organization contribute more to academic success than being a "brain"!  Therefore, a child with an average (or below) I.Q. who feels good about himself can succeed in school!
   
   
5.  Grade goals should neither be too high nor too low.  It might be unreasonable to expect a child with a learning disability to make all A's.  If a child is capable of being a "super star" student, avoid setting grade goals too low.  Often children won't perform beyond a goal that is set for them!  Talk with a professional (teacher, counselor, doctor, etc.) if you are unsure of your child's capabilities.
   
   
6.  Grades are not the most important factor in your child's life (or should not be!)  Children should lead balanced lives, they need time to spend with family and friends.  They need time to do chores and time to do nothing.  If your child does not lead a balanced life, review your grade goals.  Perhaps he is studying too much or not enough!
   
   
7.  Teachers may use different guidelines to determine grades.  It may be relatively easy to make an A in one teacher's class, on the other hand, it may be very difficult to make a B in another teacher's class!  If your child does his best, be satisfied with the grade that is earned!
   
   
8.  Remember that some children are "late bloomers".  If your child isn't living up to his potential, try to be patient.  Work with him to learn why he is not doing well.  Help him find ways to turn failure into success!  Seek professional help if necessary, but never give up on your child!  Did you know that....Beethoven's music teacher said, "As a composer, he is hopeless!"...Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade and was last in his class at Harrow... Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he had "no good ideas"!
   
   
9.  Be aware of the child who fears failure.  The child who has tried and "failed anyway" may stop trying.  If this is the case for your child, tell him that all people fail at one time or another.  Failure can be the first step to growth and success.  A knowledge of study skills helps your child succeed in school.
   
   
10.  Some students fear success!  Why?
    
       a.  classmates may tease the "brain"
       b.  being successful is hard work!
       c.  once the child makes good grades, people especially parents) generally expect excellence!
    
    If you feel that your child fears success, discuss the situation with him.  Being successful does have drawbacks,but successful students gain much more than they lose!  Encourage your child not to turn away from success.  Be sensitive to his feelings.  Understand that he cannot always be a "super star"!
    
    
11.  Be aware that some children "punish" their parents by making poor grades.  This is a form of rebellion.  Explain to your child that although his poor grades concern you, he is the one who must "live with" the grades.  Make certain that you are expecting reasonable grades!  If the poor grades continue, seek professional help.
    
    
12.  Don't bribe your child to make good grades with the offer of money and/or extravagant gifts.  Children often manipulate parents who establish this routine!  Let the satisfaction of a job well done be the child's reward.  If you must give a concrete reward, make it a small one.  A favorite meal served at home is a suggestion.