How To Destroy A Kid's Self-esteem

Even the best parents with the best intentions unwittingly undermine their children's sense of self-worth.  Consider this a list of "DONT'S".

1.  Compare your child to his siblings or classmates.  Most people believe competition helps children excel, but dozens of studies prove it doesn't.
   
   
2.  Point out your child's flaws so he will know that he needs to work on them.   This will ensure that he knows what's wrong with him, but not what's right.
   
   
3.  Lavish praise on your child for every thing he does.  Perhaps then your child will become a perfectionist doomed to constant failure.  Or maybe he'll assume that everything he touches will turn to gold and lose confidence in himself when it doesn't.  He might become skeptical about the value of your praise and disbelieve it even when it's valid.
   
   
4.  If you're busy, don't spend much time with your child.  This will confirm to him that he's not your priority.
   
   
5.  Use phrases such as, "You're the messiest kid on the block" or "How could you be so stupid?"  Kids will live up or down to the labels they're given.
   
   
6.  Constantly help your child with homework or school projects, taking over if the child loses interest or gets discouraged.  A child who never does anything on his own begins to believe he can't.
   
   
7.  Reward only A's.  Make sure your child knows that a B or less is unacceptable to you.   Most kids aren't good at every subject and may even have to struggle for a B.  By focusing on the end product, you'll be diminishing the importance of the effort he puts into his work.
   
   
8.  Discourage your child from pursuing his interests or talents if you think they're silly or stupid.  Not only will you stop your child from living up to his innate abilities, you'll show you have no regard for his wishes and desires.
   
   
9.  Withhold your affection if your child does something of which you disapprove.  There's no better way to let your child know you only love him if he lives up to your expectations.
   
   
10.  Invade your child's privacy.  This will indicate your lack of respect for him, so don't expect him to have much respect for himself.