IF YOUR CHILD...is easily frustrated

1.   Immediately remove your child from a situation when he/she begins to get frustrated
   
   
2.   Do not allow participation in a situation unless your child can demonstrate self-control
   
   
3.   Closely supervise your child in order to monitor his/her behavior at all times
   
   
4.   Inform individuals who will be spending time with your child about his/her likelihood of becoming easily frustrated
   
   
5.   Talk with your family doctor, a school official, a social worker, etc., about your child's behavior if it is causing him/her to have problems getting along with others
   
   
6.   Provide a quiet place to go when your child becomes frustrated
   
   
7.   Encourage your child to talk with you when feeling frustrated
   
   
8.   Teach your child to recognize when he/she is becoming frustrated and find ways in which to deal with feelings
   
   
9.   Reward your child for controlling his/her behavior when when he/she becomes frustrated.   Possible rewards include verbal praise (e.g. "I'm so proud of you for finishing the game even though you were losing and feeling frustrated!"), a kiss on the cheek, a hug, watching a favorite TV show, and playing a game with a parent.
   
   
10.   If there are other children or adolescents in the home, reward them for controlling their behavior when they are frustrated
    
    
11.   Treat your child with respect.   Talk in a non-threatening manner
    
    
12.   Make certain that your child sees the relationship between his/her behavior and the consequences which follow (e.g., being avoided by others, not being able to participate in special activities, others making fun, etc.)
    
    
13.   When your child becomes frustrated, explain exactly what he/she is doing wrong, what should be done and why....for example: You are playing Monopoly with your child and he/she starts crying because he/she is losing.   Stop the game, get his/her attention, and say, "William, you need to stop crying and finish the game.   Others will not want to play with you if you start crying when you are losing."
    
    
14.   Write a contract with your child...for example:   I, William, will not give up when I'm losing in a game.   When I accomplish this, I can go to the movies on Saturday.
    
    The contract should be written within the ability level of your child and should focus on only one behavior at a time.
    
    
15.   Discuss your child's behavior in private rather than in front of others
    
    
16.   Try to reduce or prevent things from happening which cause your child to become easily frustrated
    
    
17.   Teach your child how to handle feelings of frustration (e. g., ask for help, count to ten, etc.)
    
    
18.   Before a competitive activity, remind your child of the importance of personal improvement, putting forth the best effort, contributing to team success, etc.
    
    
19.   If your child needs improvement in particular skills areas in order to be competitive, help him/her improve in those areas with more practice, additional coaching, etc.
    
    
20.   Make certain that the activities, situations, etc., in which your child is involved are appropriate for your child's age, maturity, developmental level, etc.   It may be that your child is not ready for such activities at this particular time.
    
    
21.   Immediately remove your child from the attention of others when your child becomes upset or angry
    
    
22.   Do not place emphasis on perfection.   IF your child feels he/she must meet up to your expectations and cannot, it may cause your child to become frustrated
    
    
23.   Make certain you set an example by dealing in a socially acceptable way with situations that may be upsetting
    
    
24.   Reinforce your child for demonstrating self-control based on the length of time he/she can be successful.   Gradually increase the length of time required for reinforcement as your child demonstrates success
    
    
25.   Prevent frustrating or anxiety producing situations from occurring (e.g., give your child chores, responsibilities, etc., only on the appropriate ability level)
    
    
26.   Teach your child to verbalize feelings before losing control (e.g., "the work is too hard.", "please leave me alone, you're making me angry.", etc.)
    
    
27.   Monitor the behavior of others to make certain they are not teasing or otherwise stimulating your child to become angry or upset
    
    
28.   Look for warning signs that your child is getting upset and intervene to change the activity
    
    
29.   Reduce the emphasis on competition.   Highly competitive activities may cause frustration and cause your child to give up
    
    
30.   Make certain your child experiences enough successes to offset the frustration that comes with failure in some activities
    
    
31.   Before competitive activities, discuss with your child the best way to react if frustrated
    
    
32.   Make certain your child understands the consequences of inappropriate behavior that are a result of becoming frustrated
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
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