The Nature of the Self as a Factor in ADHD and Asperger's

Despite the obvious differences between kidsEither we experience life mainly as thoughts which
with ADHD and Asperger's, if you sat with thesewe receive and broadcast from our minds, or we
kid's parents, much of what you'd see would lookexperience life mainly as emotion and intuition, the
the same including the questions they ask. "Willgut feelings I just mentioned. I call the former,
my child ever be like the other kids in his class.being "mind first," and the later, "body first."
Does she have to be on medication for the restThe thing of course that's different from radio
of her life? Will he ever learn to fit in with thestations wherein we can can chose which station
rest of the world? Will she and I ever learn to talkwe tune in to, with our two brains we default to
to each other?" Underlying these questions ofone or the other. In fact, my research shows
course lies a similarity even more disturbing; thethat this preference develops very much like
look on their faces. These parents often lookhandedness, in that we seem to begin to develop
afraid. Moreover, I too have my reservations, inthis preference somewhere around age three or
part, because I would so like to have all thefour, and clearly have it in place by about age
answers and be able to tell them their child will beseven.
okay.Please note, I am not saying these preferences
What really bothers me of course is that I knoware the cause of AS or ADHD. I'm merely saying
these parent's fears will probably play almost asthey are like the fertile ground from which these
great a role in their child's well being as theirconditions grow. More important, before you can
choosing the right course of action. This thenknow if any of this feels true to you, you'll need
brings up what may be my worst concern forto first do a little experiment.
these parents; that much of what they will likely- Try sitting across from someone with whom
hear from professionals will center on doingyou normally talk well, someone to whom you
something I see as harmful to their kids; teachingcan easily tune in to. Now ask this person to tell
these kids to imitate normal.you something that happened to them recently
What's wrong with teaching kids to imitatewhile noting how well you understand this person.
normal?- Now ask this same person to tell you something
Human beings, especially children, need to feelelse, only this time, ask him or her to speak to
loved for who they are. To feel this, they need ayou very quickly. Again, note how clearly you can
clear sense of self, both theirs and others.understand, as well as how their speeding up
Unfortunately, these kids already lack of a clearaffects your ability to think, feel, and follow.
sense of self and others. Thus asking them to- Finally ask this same person say these same
imitate something which is innately unnatural forthings to you, only this time, ask them to speak
them will only cause them to worsen,exceedingly slow. Here again, note how this
disconnecting them even more from the worldchange in speed affects your ability to think
around them.clearly.
In a way then, asking these kids to learn to- Now stop and contrast and compare your
imitate normal is like asking them to wear a maskexperiences.
whenever they appear in public. Which is probablyIf you are a mind first person, words spoken
in large part why, whenever I sit with adults whoquickly will feel fine to you, whereas slowly
have ADHD and Asperger's, the most commonspoken words will bog down your mind. And
human emotion I see in them is not fear. It'smake you physically uncomfortable. Conversely, if
anger. These folks are mad as hell, in no smallyou are a body first person, the reverse will
part because so often they've been pressured tohappen. The slower the words, the better you will
fake normal in order to fit in.tune in and understand, especially with regard to
Some of them have even told me things likehow this feels.
"why can't the world adapt to me a little," andKnow that over the past year or so, I've done
they're right. We too need to adapt ourselves tothis experiment with well over two hundred
these kids. This in fact is what I had in mind as Ipeople. In every case, the result is the same.
begin to write this column. I'm going to offer youPeople either tune in better to quickly spoken,
an alternative to asking these kids to fake normal,complex sequences of mental activity, or they
starting with telling you a bit about the most basictune in better to slowly spoken, singularly focused,
idea in all of personality, the idea of the "self."physical activity.
Know that despite the myriad of books whichRemember too that what underlies what I've
describe characteristics of the self, none so farbeen telling you is a physiological fact; we have
has empirically described the actual source of thistwo brains. Google the enteric brain and
experience. At the heart of what I'm about to tellspecifically, Dr. Ron Gershon, and I'm sure you'll be
you then is the solution to a centuries oldas amazed by his work as I was. What makes
mystery; where does our sense of self comeDr. Gershon's work even more credible though is
from, our sense of being separate from others?his refusal to infer outside of his specialty.
Know it's not self worth I am referring to hereHere then is where my work in and around
nor the various qualities which make up a self. It'spersonality comes into play, in how these two
our actual sense of "me as a separate being" Ibrains affect our ability to be conscious. It
am referring to here, without which helping kidsappears then that our ability to be conscious
with ADHD and Asperger's to be themselves iscenters in and around these two styles of
impossible. Who are these kids anyway? We'reinterpersonal broadcasting and receiving; the styles
about to begin to find out.I call mind first and body first.
ADHD and Asperger's as Two Ends of the SameWhere then does the idea of the self come
Continuumfrom? It's simple really. From the way we
You may have noticed that I have increasinglyexperience these two brains. You see, it turns out
been positioning ADHD and Asperger's aswhich ever of our brains goes first is the self we
diametrically opposed conditions in my recentcall our "self." Then the other is the self we
articles. In truth, my research over the pastwatch. To a kid with ADHD this means being him
twelve years clearly shows this and more; thator herself is doing something where the body
these two conditions are actually the theoreticalcomes first. Video games. Martial arts. After
poles at the ends of one continuum. To see thisschool sports. Whereas to a kid with Asperger's,
though requires you have a background indoing those things is like being punished.
personality theory. Fortunately, the personalityIn the months to come, we'll dig deeper into the
theory required is the kind Nobel prize winningimplications of being mind first and body first,
physicist, Ernest Rutherford referred to as "ideasincluding how these two states play out in the
you could teach the barmaid."four most fundamental states of personality; mind
Let's begin with a brief recap of what we spokefirst, body first, mind body sync, and shock. We'll
about in my last article.also look at several other factors which can lead
Basically I told you that any activity whichto ADHD and Asperger's. These include the four
involves complex sequences of mental activity willdistractions; comfort, neatness, understanding, and
short circuit the brains of people with ADHD.freedom, as well as the four decision tree
Why? Because this type of learning literally widensprocesses; bluntness, correction, precision, and
their focus beyond their capacity to track, causingdigression.
their minds to bog down as if their heads are filledThe point of all this, of course, is to be able to
with molasses. I also told you that the converse isgrasp the real personalities present, rather than
true as well; that any activity which involvesthe symptomology. These kids are not broken.
intensely emotional, single steps of physicalRather, their personalities fall outside of the bell
activity will cause the brains of people with ADHDshaped curve, the base of which, in case you've
to speed up and focus. Hence their propensity fornever noticed, is a single continuum.
preferring video games over homework.What I'm saying then is that this continuum; from
What I'd like to now add to this is that withADHD to Asperger's, is the baseline of personality.
Asperger's, people feel these same two things,Moreover, rather than being based on conjecture
only in reverse. Thus for them, any activity whichor mere statistics, these ideas have been paying
involves complex sequences of mental activity willdividends for years now, in the form of helping
enliven and focus their brains rather than bogpeople with both conditions to become
them down. Why? Because like the ancientthemselves.
Roman god, Mercury, who was said to be theThis leads us to some answers to the questions I
only god quick enough to get into and out of hell,began this article with:
asking them to widen their focus and keep- "Will my child ever be like the other kids in his
moving is like child's play. Literally. On the otherclass." Yes, in fact he's more like the other kids
hand, ask them to do an activity which involvesthan anyone has ever known.
single steps of intensely focused physical activity- "Does she have to be on medication for the
and they will bog down, only this time it's theirrest of her life?" No. However, this depends
bodies that will bog down, not their minds.largely on how she can come to know her true
In a way then, we could say that all these kidsself.
have both conditions. The kids with ADHD have- "Will he ever learn to fit in with the rest of the
ADHD in their minds and Asperger's in theirworld?" Yes, but only if he learns to see how his
bodies, whereas the Aspies have ADHD in theirself and the selves of others contrast and
bodies and Asperger's in their minds. Or said morecompare. Not medically, nor psychologically, but
simply, some folks are extremely mind oriented,rather, as different but still amazing human beings.
while others are extremely body oriented.- "Will she and I ever learn to talk to each other?"
Where am I going with all this, you ask? It turnsAbsolutely, given you learn to build the necessary
out that the best way to understand thebridge. This depends entirely on how well you
personalities of these kids is to set aside all thelearn to see past your fears and trust your gut
medical symptoms and simply contrast andas far as allowing these kids to become
compare them at their core. If you do, what you'llthemselves.
find is, these two conditions literally fall at oppositeAs for my personal experience, my whole
ends of the same continuum. On one end, wepractice has been incredibly different since I began
have the folks who do best when asked to doto adapt the speed of my words to each person,
single steps of rapid physical activity; the folks weincluding several people who ADHD is so severe,
say have ADHD, and on the other end we havethey long ago gave up hope.
the folks who do best when asked to doNow let's review what I've introduced you to in
complex sequences of rapid mental activity; thethis article.
folks we say have Asperger's.- All human beings have two physiological brains,
Of course there is much more to what underliesone in the head, the other in the gut. The one in
these two conditions. This said, to be able to findthe head receives and broadcasts on a higher
a point at which to begin to unravel the mysteriesfrequency, and we call these broadcasts, thoughts
underlying these two conditions is to me, worthand reasons. The brain in the gut then receives
the effort.and broadcasts on a lower frequency, and we call
The question of course at this point is, on whatthese broadcasts, emotions and intuition.
do I base these claims? My answer begins with- All human beings have a default broadcast
something most folks I ask have never heard of;frequency, either one based in the head or based
the idea that we humans have two physiologicalin the gut. Moreover, because we each have a
brains. The brain you already know about, offirst choice as far as what we tune in to, we can
course, is the brain in the head. The other is whatsay we are all either mind first or body first.
medical researchers call, the enteric brain. Or as- Folks with ADHD are always very body first.
it's more commonly referred to, the "brain in theFolks with Asperger's are always very mind first.
gut."Moreover, while these preferences are not the
What the heck is the enteric brain? It turns outcauses of these conditions, they are, in fact, the
there is a significant amount of brain tissuetwo basic personality trait differences underlying
sandwiched into the layers of the diaphragm, thethem.
same kind of tissue found in the brain in the head.- In essence then, the most basic differences
Moreover, it turns out 95% of thebetween the personalities of folks with ADHD and
neurotransmitter which carries our moods is notthose of folks with Asperger's lie in three basic
found in the brain in our head. The majority of ourareas; [1] whether the nature of what they do
serotonin is found in the brain in our gut. Whichbest is mind oriented (AS) or body oriented
begs the question, when you take an SSRI like(ADHD), [2] whether they do best with either
prozac, where is it working? To me, the answersequences of tasks (AS) or single step tasks
is obvious; it's working in the gut. And since(ADHD), and [3] where they get their best sense
serotonin is the main chemical messenger forof time; either from the speed of what they're
emotion, this implies the ubiquitous "gut feelings"thinking (AS) or from the speed of what they're
of ADHD folks are really there.physically doing (ADHD).
As to how this aspect of our physiology plays outIn my next article we're going to dig a bit more
in kids with ADHD and Asperger's, to show you,into this mind body thing. And at the risk of
I'll need to use a simple analogy; the idea that oursounding like a new age weirdo, let me point out
two brains function like two radio stations, eachthat what we've been discussing has been the
receiving and broadcasting on a separatenature of the mind body connection. How can
frequency. Moreover, like real radio stations whichknowing the nature of this connection help us to
are intelligible only when tune in to one at a time,better help our kids? The answer to this question
we humans can normally tune in to only one brain.lies almost entirely in knowing how to use this
In real life, what this amounts to is that we canconnection to teach these kids to tune in to the
make sense of only one perspective at a time.world, and us to them.