| "I have to check everything before I leave the | | | | caregiver or a therapist. As this occurs, he will |
| house. If I deviate from my specific process, I | | | | start to also feel less anxious and will be able to |
| have to start all over again. If anyone interrupts | | | | give up coping strategies that were developed to |
| me in the process of checking, I have to start all | | | | manage his anxiety and stress. |
| over again. I am afraid if I do not follow the | | | | I also think that other things are going on that we |
| checking rules something bad will happen. When I | | | | might speculate about. From the perspective of |
| do not do things in order it feels like I am doing | | | | an Incomplete Attachment, this child is trying to |
| something wrong. I cannot deviate from what I | | | | keep things in order because 1) he feels no order |
| think of as my order. | | | | from within. In other words, he lives with a |
| What is this autistic boy telling us? He checks | | | | chaotic internal world, which is dissociated and |
| and keeps everything in order and cannot deviate | | | | does not allow him to have access to his words |
| from his process. This reminds me of another | | | | (lacks self-agency), 2) if he had access to his |
| autistic boy who would line up letters of the | | | | words then he could live without fear and 3) be |
| alphabet. If I took a letter and put it in the | | | | able to respond to spontaneous situations and |
| wrong place he would immediately change it back | | | | allow things to be out of order. Spontaneity, |
| to its proper place. Both these boys are telling | | | | from this perspective, comes out of being sure of |
| us that keeping things in order and checking helps | | | | oneself which comes out of the ability to have |
| to keep them calm and relaxed. They are | | | | access to ones feelings and to express those |
| self-regulating. They are both very fearful if | | | | feelings freely. |
| things are out of order and not in their proper | | | | This autistic boy may be checking for multiple |
| place. This autistic boy is very aware that he | | | | reasons: 1) it provides, as mentioned previously, a |
| does not know how to express his concerns | | | | way to feel calm, relaxed and regulated and 2) |
| about order. He is obsessed with this need for | | | | from the perspective of an Incomplete |
| sameness and order. | | | | Attachment, the child with autism is dissociated |
| Checking and order seem to provide, as this | | | | and can never be sure of "what has just |
| autistic boy told us, a way to calm himself down | | | | happened". He is never sure that what he has |
| and regulate himself. Infants learn to | | | | just experienced has really happened. He has no |
| self-regulate through the mutual regulation that | | | | way of "testing reality" by asking questions |
| takes place between mother and child during the | | | | especially if he is low functioning. Thus he is left |
| attachment process. The child with autism has | | | | to his own devices to try to figure out what is |
| an Incomplete Attachment so can only rely on | | | | going on. In a dissociated state nothing feels |
| himself for methods to self-regulate. Each child | | | | stable and the child cannot be sure of what is |
| with autism will find his own methods to | | | | happening at any point in time. Thus the |
| self-regulate. As the child completes the | | | | checking is his way of making sure that |
| attachment process, he will learn other methods | | | | everything is stable and that what he really saw |
| to self-regulate through the interactions with a | | | | did actually happen. |