| Picture this scenario. | | | | explain yourself, but not wanting to, or being |
| Tom and Brad have been friends for their entire | | | | unable to. The reality is, you shouldn't have to |
| life. They are the same age, both adults, and | | | | either. |
| work together. They are in the middle of a | | | | Coming to terms with this type of predicament |
| conversation that has been going for almost 30 | | | | becomes far easier when considering whether the |
| minutes during their lunch break, both are talking | | | | issue is not one of shyness, but a lack of control. |
| animatedly and both are clearly comfortable. | | | | An unfamiliar person creates a situation of |
| With about 20 minutes of lunch hour left, a work | | | | uncertainty. Being in unfamiliar territory can feel |
| colleague who is a friend of Brad approaches their | | | | uncomfortable. Which ever way you approach it, |
| table and joins the conversation. But now only | | | | the issue is one of a lack of control creating |
| Brad and their colleague are talking. Tom has | | | | unwanted feelings. |
| become quiet, withdrawn, and speaks only twice | | | | But since adult Asbergers sufferers can't always |
| in the next 15 minutes, once to say goodbye. | | | | control their environment, what can be done? A |
| If this is a scenario familiar to you then you'll | | | | huge advantage is being able to recognize the |
| appreciate that Aspergers Syndrome in an adult | | | | reason for feelings of anxiety, shyness or a |
| can result in some complex emotions arising out | | | | sense of withdrawal for what they are, and why |
| of even simple social situations. At times speaking | | | | they are causing a certain response to a particular |
| to one person seems fantastic, but when an | | | | situation. Being able to consciously accept what is |
| unknown quantity is added to the equation | | | | happening and understanding why you are |
| feelings of shyness and withdrawal take over. | | | | reacting a certain way to a situation can at least |
| Worse still, often this creates feelings of | | | | provide some internal control. The next step is |
| frustration (why am I being so quiet?) or guilt | | | | being able to actually use that internal control to |
| (they think I don't like them) or self doubt (even | | | | help express yourself externally the way you |
| if I did speak, I'd be forcing it and I'll be ignored). | | | | want to, rather than the way you might |
| There can be a prevailing sense of needing to | | | | otherwise do. |