| The couple was in the midst of a heated | | | | if she answers that Sally will look in the basket, |
| argument. | | | | where she put the marble; the child fails the task |
| "Please stop looking at me like a dead cod fish!" | | | | if she answers that Sally will look in the box, |
| Believe it or not, statements like this from | | | | where the child knows the marble is hidden, even |
| partners of adults with Asperger's are not all that | | | | though Sally cannot know, since she did not see it |
| uncommon. When confronted with a highly upset | | | | hidden there. In order to pass the task, the child |
| partner, some adults with Asperger's respond by | | | | must be able to understand that a person's |
| shutting down completely, staring baffled at their | | | | conceptualization of the situation is different from |
| partner instead conversing and adopting the pose | | | | their own, and the child must be able to predict |
| of a....well....dead cod fish. | | | | behavior based on that understanding. The results |
| Often adults with Asperger's (ASD) are accused | | | | of research using false-belief tasks have been |
| of by loved ones and friends, even coworkers, as | | | | fairly consistent: most normally-developing children |
| LACKING EMPATHY. This is puzzling, as many | | | | are unable to pass the tasks until around age four. |
| Aspies report a heightened alarm system when | | | | Yet the test is often not passed by adults |
| confronted with emotional intensity. Do Aspies | | | | diagnosed with ASD. |
| really lack empathy? Or are they shutting down | | | | Compassion |
| when easily overwhelmed in emotionally charged | | | | Is Theory of Mind a necessary foundation for |
| situations, leading to a "non-empathic" | | | | compassion? Compassion is a human emotion |
| presentation? Or is there some other explanation? | | | | prompted by the pain of others. More vigorous |
| Theory of Mind | | | | than empathy, the feeling commonly gives rise to |
| The typical individual, at an early age, develops the | | | | an active desire to alleviate another person's |
| innate capacity to know and understand that | | | | suffering. It is often, though not inevitably, the |
| other people have thoughts, feelings and desires | | | | key component in what manifests in the social |
| that are different from his or her own. This | | | | context as altruism. |
| understanding develops without effort, and is | | | | Though adult Aspies get stuck when it comes to |
| supported by the innate ability to engage in the | | | | understanding the WHY of another's emotions, |
| nuances of interaction: body language, tone of | | | | they rarely seem to present with true |
| voice, eye contact and other subtleties. This | | | | indifference. Rather, many seem to adopt a |
| conceptualizing of "other" versus "self" is, what | | | | position of indifference as a defense against an |
| many researchers believe to be, the first step in | | | | inherent lack of understanding of the basis for the |
| empathy. In other words, it is very difficult to | | | | emotions of others. It is, perhaps, this |
| "empathize" with a separate person's unique | | | | fundamental lack of understanding, COMBINED |
| experience without first understanding that their | | | | WITH an ultra sensitive and reactive physiological |
| experience is just that - unique, or more aptly | | | | system, which leads to withdrawal. This |
| put, not the same as that of the self. | | | | withdrawal can leave loved ones feeling |
| One of the most important milestones in theory | | | | abandoned and uncared for, a recipe for problems |
| of mind development is gaining the ability to | | | | in relationships. |
| attribute false belief: that is, to recognize that | | | | "I love email," says one Aspie adult, "there's no |
| others can have beliefs about the world that are | | | | overwhelm. I can read about my friend's upset |
| incorrect. To do this, it is suggested, one must | | | | without having to respond in the moment, |
| understand how knowledge is formed, that | | | | manage eye contact, witness first hand things like |
| people's beliefs are based on their knowledge, that | | | | crying and gesturing. Email is the grease of our |
| mental states can differ from reality, and that | | | | relationship." Such accounts of the challenges of |
| people's behavior can be predicted by their mental | | | | coping with so many factors can remind us that |
| states. | | | | communication skills are more than important for |
| Researchers have investigated the false belief | | | | couples with Asperger partners - they are crucial. |
| concept in intriguing ways. In one such experiment | | | | FINAL WORD |
| (often called the 'Sally-Anne' task), children are told | | | | Before jumping to conclusions regarding your own |
| or shown a story involving two characters. For | | | | or your partner's ability to empathize, remember |
| example, the child is shown two dolls, Sally and | | | | that one truly cannot judge an Aspie by his or her |
| Anne, who have a basket and a box, respectively. | | | | cover. Professionals trained in working with autism |
| Sally also has a marble, which she places in her | | | | spectrum disorders can help with adjusting terms |
| basket, and then leaves to take a walk. While she | | | | of communication to prevent overwhelm and |
| is out of the room, Anne takes the marble from | | | | withdrawal, so that Aspies with compassion can |
| the basket, eventually putting it in the box. Sally | | | | be perceived as such. There's nothing fishy about |
| returns, and the child is then asked where Sally | | | | that. |
| will look for the marble. The child passes the task | | | | |