| Anger is a paradox. We all, except for saints, feel | | | | by-standers or triggering the fight reaction in |
| anger or think angry thoughts some of the time. | | | | those who dare to resist leading to real injury. Dr. |
| When that road maniac buzzes past and cuts in | | | | Hallowell tells of a father and son fighting at 3 am |
| front while I am patiently waiting my turn. I feel | | | | with a baseball bat and hockey stick. |
| like ramming him. I'm angry; I want revenge. Most | | | | Because anger feels right and appropriate, people |
| of us most of the time can inhibit the impulse to | | | | who anger have difficulty understanding the |
| act on the wish. | | | | problem until they see it. I had a coaching client |
| Anger is a reaction to a perceived injustice or | | | | who finally understood why his wife was |
| injury; it feels manly and justified. It is so much | | | | threatening to leave him when he saw a video his |
| more satisfying to retaliate than to turn the | | | | wife made a video of him in one of his moods. His |
| proverbial other cheek. They say it is better to | | | | reaction "I had no idea what I was like. I never |
| express anger than to bottle it up. | | | | want to behave like that again." |
| The paradox is that anger, like the A-bomb, is | | | | Dr. Daniel Amen in "Healing ADD, the 6 Types of |
| radio-active. The fall-out effects everyone within | | | | ADD" identifies ADHD with Anger as one of his |
| range. It damages relationships and lasts for | | | | six types called Temporal ADD chronic anger like |
| years. Think of battered wives (sometimes | | | | ADHD starts in the neurology of the brain. Anger |
| husbands) and abused children. I have a coaching | | | | as a way of dealing with life can also be learned |
| client who suffers from post traumatic stress due | | | | from the family and the culture. |
| from violence in his childhood. Americans have | | | | Here are five steps to help you manage anger. |
| coined the term "going postal" to describe | | | | |
| outbursts of uncontrollable rage. | | | | 1. When you feel yourself getting angry, walk |
| According to Dr. John Ratey in "Shadow | | | | away. Excuse yourself and go to the toilet or |
| Syndromes", the psychiatric establishment | | | | take a walk. Just say that you would like to talk |
| recognizes anger as part of many conditions but | | | | about the problem later when you have had time |
| does not consider it a problem in itself. DSM-III | | | | to think. |
| had a category called Intermittent explosive | | | | 2. If you are a parent who seems to be angry |
| Disorder, but it was removed from DSM-IV | | | | with your kids much of the time, learn alternative |
| because no one used it. | | | | parenting skills. I am now teaching a program |
| If Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (AD | | | | called STEP, Systematic Training for Effective |
| HD) is also present, the combination becomes | | | | Parenting; it teaches other ways to solve |
| doubly toxic. Anger is not specifically part of | | | | problems. |
| ADHD, but many ADHD traits contribute to | | | | 3. Take an Anger Management program, a |
| trigger a rage event. | | | | 12-Step program, try Yoga and meditation. |
| Anger starts with a perception of insult or injury | | | | 4. Therapy, especially behavioral therapy, will help |
| which leads to an impulse to defend oneself | | | | you understand the family and cultural origins of |
| aggressively by attacking. When a person has | | | | anger and help you to identify triggers that lead |
| ADHD, his perceptions are frequently faulty | | | | to rage and ways of controlling your reactions. |
| because his wandering attention system misses | | | | 5. See a doctor who is experienced with ADHD. |
| key information and his active mind fills in the | | | | Drs. Amen, Hallowell, Ratey and Brown all tell |
| blanks according to his personal, often negative, | | | | about patients with uncontrollable anger who were |
| view of the world. | | | | helped with the proper medication. If ADHD is |
| The perceived insult creates shame shutting down | | | | involved, it also needs to be treated, but a |
| the ability to analyze a situation and to inhibit the | | | | stimulant for ADHD may make the anger worse; |
| explosive reaction. ADHD impulsiveness ignites the | | | | different medications are used to control anger. |
| bomb frightening weaker adversaries and | | | | Bonus: Learn to laugh. Join a laughing club. |