| It is the dance of life, the basis of human | | | | playing with balls! I’ll hand it to you, and |
| interaction. It’s about moving fluidly through | | | | you’ll throw it back. Sometimes it comes to |
| our interactions. It’s not about an outcome, | | | | me, but your hands don’t always throw in the |
| but the process in which we get there. It’s | | | | same direction you’re looking. Then as I hold |
| about doing it together. It’s the give and take. | | | | the ball you look at me with anticipation, |
| It’s the responses given to our actions and | | | | wondering if and when I’ll throw it back; often |
| or words. It’s co-regulation. By 9 months of | | | | times your hands and feet are moving with your |
| age, a child spends a majority of the day engaged | | | | excitement. Once I roll it back to you, you smile |
| in co-regulation. My son is now 9 months old, and | | | | and scream in delight! If it bounces off you, |
| our interactive dance is becoming more fluid as | | | | you’ll race after it. You already know that we |
| we continue this journey. | | | | both have a responsibility in keeping the ball in |
| - You are the joy of our lives, the spark in our | | | | play. |
| day. The joy you bring to our family is | | | | - Your sisters still love to torment you. They’ll |
| indescribable. Unlike when your sisters were | | | | climb in your face, and try to tickle you or tackle |
| babies, we are trying to slow down how fast you | | | | you. You are learning to defend yourself by |
| are growing. We want you to remain a baby | | | | clawing them in the face or pulling their hair. They |
| forever, as you are the final baby of the family; | | | | get upset; but I defend you, and tell them that |
| and yet you seem to be growing twice as fast as | | | | they deserved it. |
| your sisters. | | | | - There is nothing better than coming home after |
| - You have so many games that you love to | | | | not seeing you all day. When you see me, you |
| play. You’ll crawl (yes, you are crawling now!) | | | | light right up and come crawling to me as fast as |
| behind a chair, and then peak your head out when | | | | you can. If you can’t get to me or I |
| you see that I’m looking. I smile, then you | | | | don’t pick you up right away, you’ll sit |
| smile back and hide again. It’s only a moment | | | | there and scream until I give you attention. It can |
| later when you slowly peak your head back out, | | | | be a bit annoying, but I love the attention and the |
| and start to giggle as I give you a funny face. | | | | immediate hugs! |
| - You are eating more and more foods! You | | | | The interactive dance of life is established, and |
| make so many people laugh as you take a bite, | | | | relationships are beginning to flourish. Isn’t it |
| and then quickly open your mouth for another | | | | amazing how early on in life this begins to happen? |
| bite. You’ll sit there with your mouth open | | | | This is a topic I discuss early and often with |
| staring at me until I get that spoon filled with | | | | families who have a child with autism: What does |
| more food back to your mouth. It can’t | | | | co-regulation look like; when is it established; when |
| come fast enough! If I stand up to go get | | | | does it break down; and how is it repaired? |
| something, you scream like you are going to | | | | Co-regulation is the basis for all human interaction, |
| starve. I know you are about done eating when | | | | essential for developing relationships. Watching this |
| you grab at the spoon as though it’s a toy | | | | form between the parents and children I work |
| and not a shoveling device. | | | | with is an amazing experience. What are you |
| - If there is a ball around, you will find it. You love | | | | doing to initiate this dance? |