| What does flying on an airplane and parenting a | | | | Instead of struggling with the intense child, |
| child with ADHD have in common? Sooner or later | | | | parents and teachers can transform the |
| you are bound to experience some turbulence. | | | | behaviors of the spirited child into new positive |
| There are many parents who struggle with | | | | patterns. This is accomplished by giving the child |
| children with behaviors common to Attention | | | | heartfelt frequent feedback that focuses on |
| Deficit Disorder/Attention Deficit Hyperactivity | | | | positive choices and behaviors. |
| Disorder (ADD/ADHD), Oppositional Defiant | | | | When encouraging feedback is consistently given |
| Disorder (ODD), Reactive Attachment Disorder | | | | in a way the child can absorb, the child begins to |
| (RAD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), | | | | build his or her internal reception of it. This creates |
| Attachment Disorder and sensory integration | | | | new positive patterns for successful choices. |
| challenges. | | | | Through this process the spirited child also regains |
| While it may not be apparent, these children tend | | | | trust in his or her decision-making and abilities. |
| to be naturally sensitive in nature and often act | | | | Some of the feedback includes: |
| out what they feel. They are usually gifted, | | | | * Noticing and describing in detail what the child is |
| intellectually, intuitively, artistically or in other ways. | | | | doing when nothing is going wrong. For example: |
| Because of this they can also be known as | | | | "Johnny, you are really focusing intently on that |
| spirited children. When parents understand the | | | | book!" |
| true nature of their child from this perspective, it | | | | * Teaching the child important values like good |
| allows them to more easily help their child | | | | manners, respect, and good attitude by giving |
| assimilate in the world and be successful. | | | | acknowledgement and appreciation when the child |
| Some of the turbulence parents may experience | | | | expresses nuances of that quality, not when the |
| when parenting a spirited child includes: | | | | child has made a mistake. |
| hyperactivity, emotional outbursts, sibling fighting, | | | | * Actively letting the child know when the rules |
| lack of focus, arguing and lack of cooperation. | | | | are not being broken. Enthusiastically articulating |
| With airplane turbulence, there is little you can do | | | | when the child is not hitting, not arguing, not yelling |
| about it, except avoid flying. As a parent, there is | | | | or teasing. This is a powerful way to teach rules |
| something you can do. | | | | when the child is more open to listening. |
| Spirited, sensitive children have the equivalent of a | | | | * Clearly making requests to the child specifically |
| built-in energy sensor. They quickly detect when | | | | and directly. Using the phrase 'I need you |
| they receive more attention, energy and | | | | to...please.' or "You need to... " to obtain the child's |
| emotions from parents and teachers. It can be | | | | cooperation for completion of a task. Then give |
| easy for a child who tends to be more needy, | | | | specific appreciation to the child for completing or |
| sensitive or intense to unconsciously decide that | | | | even moving in the direction of completing the |
| he or she gets more 'juice' and things are more | | | | request. For example "I appreciate you putting |
| exciting when engaged in negative behavior. The | | | | your shoes away so we can have a floor that is |
| child can presume this even if his or her parents | | | | clean and clear to walk on. That's cooperation!" |
| or teachers have good intentions, unless they | | | | Additionally, having specific rules, boundaries and |
| know techniques to override this. When this | | | | unwavering consequences are other essential |
| pattern is repeated over and over, it can become | | | | components for sustainable success. The spirited |
| deeply ingrained. The spirited child can even | | | | child's first-hand experiences greatly help to build |
| become addicted to engaging in negative behavior | | | | his or her confidence and cooperation. They serve |
| in order to get the 'juice' and attention they seek. | | | | as an important foundation for the child to |
| Utilizing techniques based on the Nurtured Heart | | | | repattern negative behavior so that the child can |
| Approach developed by Howard Glasser can | | | | learn how to channel his or her energy into |
| override these negative behavior patterns. When | | | | positive pursuits. By providing these learning |
| the parent gives encouraging feedback and applies | | | | opportunities, you are teaching your child to |
| other techniques of the approach, he or she | | | | embrace and use his or her intensity as a gift on |
| provides the child with direct experiences of | | | | many levels. It is then that the spirited, sensitive |
| success. They do this in an innovative way that | | | | child can be at peace with himself or herself, |
| the spirited child can integrate on every level - | | | | within the family and the world. |
| mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. | | | | |